Fully Loaded.

Here’s the deal. I bumped into u twice. Seems lately i cant get u outta my mind. I thought at first it was a sign. But then i realized i dont want u to be mine. Or maybe i do? Shit i dont know anymore. Cus the past fellas never treated me right before. Like the way u follow me wit ur eyes when i walk through the door. And its moments like that i refuse to be so sure. What if its just my imagination? What i want to see and what i want to believe. Ur body language vibin with sensitivity. So fucking confused with all this potential serendipity. It feels like dumb luck, the way the world tells me ur the one. The one i cant neglect and miss out on. And with all these thoughts rushing through my head, i cant help but wonder what u think of me. Usually my pride gets the best of me and the death of me. But when u speak out wit that real tone in ur voice, it shuts down my insecurity. What am i gonna do wit u? Stubbornly i let others go. But seems i cant catch a break wit u, it gets harder for me to say no. Ur always gna be around, cus of that similarity we share. Especially under influential substance, we get closer and higher, highest then im gone. And when i wake up, ur still there. Ur a tough one to remove, so i been thinking. How long till i get to see the real you?

                                   [ Yours Truly, Sophi. ]

Shoulda said this shit on all those times that i was over,

But i couldnt say a word cus u was barely even sober.

Always went for the boy i was only attracted to,

Fill my head wit lies and list all the things we’d do.

But when ur niggas ask, u’d say it wasnt true.

And i’d get even angrier when u couldnt get the clue.

I knew u wasnt perfect, now that i will admit.

I just wanted the boy i can really kick it wit,

Without it being cutty or keepin me a secret.

But look how that turned out, I aint happy for one bit.

All my girls tell me to stop this thing wit u,

But they dont even know us or the shit that we been thru.

I wish it was easier to find somebody new,

But how am i to do that when im still in love wit u.

I wanna say goodbye to the present and the past,

But here u go reminding me ur better than the last.

Then why is it i’d call u and u wont pick up ur phone.

But when i’d finally reach u, i’d hear a suspicious tone.

I just wanted the relationship that u promised me.

U even said u’d drop them girls individually.

The feeling inside me grows deeper in the heart.

Following my ambitions to create a better start.

And when the better man for me finally comes along,

I’ll look back and thank u for making me so strong.

And ill be sure to be satisfied in my better state of mind,

Entirely so happy that ur no longer mine.

And with grace ill carry on ever so polite,

To learn from the heartache and never fall for ur type.. 

                                       [ Yours truly, Sophi. ]

Where is that smile I havent seen in a while

Cant bear to face that frown. That misery’s a crowd

No way between or out. Deep inside you’re all about 

The passion and love that you cant seem to find around 

You try so hard to look. Just when you finally found

Unsatisfaction guarantee, Breaking your humanity

For beauty of the nature, And the nature of your heart

Preventing you from making a brand new start

The vision you dont see, Invisible to your eyes

Perfection is far ahead. Mistakes laid across your bed spread

So much heat you cant toast a bread

But you plan a future without the reality instead

Life aint no fairy tale. Though you wish you was the princess

The one above the rest, The damsel in distress

Cant promise you the prince, Cause life is just a grinch

But one day i promise you. The stories will come true

The ending you finally wished for, And the boy that welcomes you

To a life of dedication. His heart, your medication

For the pain you suffer now, All the wounds and all abrasions

Then happy will you be without the constant worry

Of being all alone and your identity unknown

But let me tell you now, Your future’s well-endowed

You’ll be livin the good life. Gettin no more third degree

Escaping from this hell, But only time will really tell

Enemies coming at her. Still there’s no disaster

But lemme tell you dear,

it aint no happily ever after.

I dedicate my very first post to Rebecca Wong, the one i will either thank or blame for making me this tumblr. Shes my cousin, niece, ading; WHICHEVER she still my fams. Gotta stick it out wit this girl and she makes me go crazy but i’d rather have that than nothing at all. Hey hey becky, i love you!